The 12 Rules of Likeability
Becoming a great sales person is really all about being liked. Just think for a minute how well you get along with people you like. When you are liked and when people like you, you are both observing certain rules.
1. How to Get People to Really Like You
There are no rules when it comes to popularity. However, these 12 rules of likeability are very true. Just stop and think for a moment about how true these are in your own life and you will understand their universal appeal.
1) We like people who like us.
2) We like people who are like us.
3) We like people who can teach us without preaching at us.
4) We like people who lift our spirits.
5) We like people who pay attention to us.
6) We like people who are approachable.
7) We like people who are genuine.
We like people who we associate with positive feelings.
9) We like people who are courteous.
10) We like people who we are familiar with.
11) We like people who don’t take themselves too seriously.
12) We like people who are beautiful on the inside.
Here are some possible interpretations.
We like people who like us. Whenever we meet someone new we immediately begin assessing how well we are coming across to them.
Do they like us?
We usually measure their liking by the positive signs such as seeking us out, spending time with us, remembering our name, the number of times they smile, and their body language. Strangely enough, if we sense somebody doesn’t like us, we usually try one of two approaches: avoid them or work harder at making them like us. Generally we will take the first approach and try to avoid them.
Ask yourself why this is?
Well it’s because of one of our greatest fears.
‘The Fear of Rejection’
Let’s look at the last one: “We like people who are beautiful on the inside.” We’ve all heard the expression, “Beauty is only skin deep,” and we believe that is true. Although as human beings we are drawn to attractive people (and believe they are smarter, more competent, and better salespeople), we are also a little sceptical about their true personality. We are more trusting of the person who seems to be genuine all the way.
We like people who are like us. “Birds of a feather flock together.” While people who are different from us may attract us initially, often that attraction wears off and those things that first attracted us to them now annoy us. It is often easier to get along with people who are like us because we understand them better.
We like people who can teach us without preaching at us. Think of the local vicar in church. The more popular ones are those who get their message across through stories, or who seem to have conversations with us from the pulpit. We generally hate being told that our behaviour is wrong, even if it is, because we feel like we are children again getting a telling off from our parents.
We like people who lift our spirits. Happy people attract friends and supporters because we all feel better after we’ve been around them for a while. On the other hand, the whiners and complainers do drag us down and we sometimes find ourselves avoiding them because we feel so down ourselves after they’ve gone.
We like people who pay attention to us. Usually we spend more time around people we like, so if people pay attention to us, we assume they like us. Also, when people pay attention to us, we feel more important. We all like to think we matter.
We like people who are approachable. People, who seem friendly, with open body language, are people we often feel like we have always known; people we can go to when we have a question.
We like people who are genuine. We all have a built in antenna for those people who are insincere. When people pay us a compliment, or say nice things about us, we are always on the alert for false tone of voice. We are suspicious if their praise seems too fulsome or over the top.
We like people who we associate with positive feelings. Like people who lift our spirits, we prefer people who have a positive outlook. As Emerson once said,
“Enthusiasm is contagious.”
We like people who are courteous. Courtesy is the honey on our bread of life. Courteous people are so much more comfortable to be around than those who are rude or obnoxious. We don’t like being hurt so we feel safer with the person who is polite and well-mannered.
We like people who we are familiar with. Meeting new people is hard work. We feel much more comfortable when we are around people who already know who we truly are and who like us anyway. We’re already over the hurdle of that first impression.
We like people who don’t take themselves too seriously. When people take themselves too seriously, we sometimes feel like we are walking on eggs. We are always fearful we will say or do something to offend them. Remember the saying, “Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”
Let’s have a look at what influences we can use to get people to like us
2. What Influences People in Forming Relationships?
The secret to success is not very hard to figure out. The better you are at connecting with other people, the better the quality of your life. Is there a natural talent for getting along with people or is it something we can learn? Connecting with other people brings infinite rewards but it is hard work too. Connecting is what our ancestors were doing thousands of years ago when they worked together to hunt down their food and then gathered around the fire to eat woolly mammoth steaks.
Here are some of the influences that are at work when we connect with others.
Appearance
This is the extent to which physical attractiveness plays a role in helping us form favourable first impressions of another person. Physical attractiveness is very subjective, although there are some standards we can count on. What are they? Generally taller people are seen as more competent. Some studies suggest blondes may not have more fun than brunettes, yet they generally score higher on the popularity scales. As we discussed earlier, we see that people who look approachable are more attractive and more positive.
Similarity
Individuals are drawn to one another when they share common interests or goals.
Common ground is just that, finding some areas of similarity with another person.
Finding common ground can be an important part of relationship building.
How can we do that?
By Building Customer Connections
So, now that you know that communication is the key to building relationships, think how easy it is to ask the following questions as you search out your common ground.
- What time did you start today?
- How is your day going?
- Where do you live?
- Where did you learn to become a chef?
- Where did you go to college/university?
- What do you do outside work?
- What is your favourite holiday spot?
- What is your favourite meal?
- Do you play sport?
- What is the best movie you have seen lately?
The list is endless, so just use your imagination and talk. It’s a great gift! What you are looking for is common ground or commonality among you. You will be surprised just how much you have got.
Building Relationships for Success in Sales is finding common ground with your customers. Why not discuss this with your manager or colleagues and see what they know about your customer?